A Personal Appeal From Jimmy Wales

Hello there folks I am Jimmy Wales! Please do not be put off by the fact that I am a 44-year-old man who prefers to go by "Jimbo", I am a friendly dude who means no harm! I am writing this message to you, my loyal Wikipedia user, in order to sucker you out of money! I mean, to help keep Wikipedia free! I got a degree in Finance from the Randolph School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, so I know all about matters of money! Like that George Washington is on the dollar AND the quarter! Wow!

Folks, let me speak seriously for a moment. In 1996 I started a website containing erotic content and other adult entertainment (you can find this information about me on Wikipedia! Wowie Zowie, what an amazing website!). Ever since this foray into the INTERNET.COM it's been one hell of a roller coaster! Have you ever had a job where you could sit around in your underwear all day eating Cheetos and scratching yourself? Let me tell you, it's the best! But then that kind of behavior got me fired from Blockbuster, so now I can do it at home where no one can see me except the neighbors since I do it in front of my large open window. I love running an internet business!

Unfortunately, it wasn't until seven years later that I learned that I'm not making any money from Wikipedia. Nothing at all! SHIT! So I need to rectify this. I plastered my beautiful face all over Wikipedia as a cry for attention! I mean, as a plea for money! I mean, to keep Wikipedia free! Just think back to all those times when Wikipedia got you out of a jam! Such as that bet you made with your cousin Frank as to whether the Earth was round or flat? Or maybe you were curious as to how many movies the DAD from LIZZIE MCGUIRE was in? Or maybe you wanted to deface a celebrity page the instant they died? YOU CAN DO IT ALL ON WIKIPEDIA, MY FRIEND. LET OL' UNCLE JIMBO TAKE CARE OF YOU.

I hate advertisers! Grrrrr! They steam me up! Give me money and you won't see any advertisements! I love free exchange of knowledge and information! Give me money and you will get free knowledge and information! I love pool tables, entertainment systems, Nintendo Wiis, in-ground swimming pools, rocket ships, and lobster dinners! Lots of lobster dinners! Give me money so I can buy myself this stuff!

So, if you have the time, please donate $1, or $5, or $20, or $563.13, or your children! Help keep Wikipedia free!

UNCLE JIMBO LOVES CHILDREN